I can not even begin to really explain how all over the place my emotions have been lately. When it was getting close to game time, aka labor, with Lucas, I remember feeling calm and ready. This pregnancy has been much different than my pregnancy with Lucas, and as we’re nearing game time this time around, my thoughts are mostly anything but calm and ready. Really trying to work on that.
Some moments I feel ready, especially with how uncomfortable I have been these past few weeks. Most moments, however, are a mix of emotions. I feel more nervous overall about labor this time. I don’t know why, because my labor with Lucas went so well. I guess because everything did go so smoothly for the most part last time, I’m worried because I want it to be the same this time, but I know that no two births are the same.
I have so much mom guilt knowing that soon Lucas will not be the only little man I have to take care of. Lucas is the biggest Momma’s boy in the world, and even though sometimes he drives me nuts (hello toddlerhood) I feel so bad knowing that soon I’m going to have to share my time with him. How will he handle the transition? Lucas is so excited about Logan right now. He says he is ready for him to be here and ready to play with him, as are we all. I know he is going to be such a great big brother, but I also think that he is going to have a hard time sharing his mama.
Overall, I just really can not get over the fact that we’re about to have two little boys. I’m sure they will get in to lots of trouble together & be the best of friends but also have their fair share of fights. I know our life is about to get a lot more chaotic but also fill up with even more love, which I can’t even wrap my head around. Life, I tell ya what. I always dreamed of being a mom, but nothing prepared me for the overwhelming amount of love you have for your kids. Just feeling so blessed. And stressed. And tired. And happy. Pregnancy hormones are really getting the best of me right now.
^^ outtakes, because taking a picture of a toddler is hard
Happy Tuesday, everyone! 🙂